The afternoon began late and amazingly… rarely have I ever met someone who can match me catnap for catnap. The morning lazed on, and so did we… inactivity has never felt so glorious. Fortunately, though, I had an apartment appointment to change the pace of the day, and off he went, back to Connecticut. I headed over to the apartment and met the girls, and they are both very sweet… long story short, the apartment is mine for September. It is such a relief to know that I have a place to live come the fall… now I feel like I can truly enjoy my summer.
With the apartment hunt out of the way and a hot, muggy afternoon stretching before me, I decided to head to Newbury Street to find a bathing suit (I’m still jonesing for that lake pass, and now that I’ll be a resident, it’s within my grasp). On the way to H&M, I ran into — of all people — Danny from 412. He was with his girlfriend, and we literally walked right past each other on the sidewalk. I grabbed his arm, and he had this great moment of astonishment. I love running into people I know unexpectedly, and it was so strange, because I had been thinking of him only the day before. Talk about a pleasant surprise.
Headed into H&M bound and determined to find a bathing suit… I found two (you don’t understand the excitement embedded in that statement… for me — or most women, for that matter — to head out looking for a bathing suit, and find not one, but TWO, on the first trip out… it’s pretty remarkable). After finding what I was looking for, I decided to treat myself to a (very) late lunch at Charlie’s… sat at a table outside, had a great lunch by myself, my server (Josh) was adorable, and evidently found it amusing that I was eating out on my own. The weather, at that point, was gorgeous — sunny, warm, breezy… couldn’t have been luckier. Headed into Newbury Comics briefly, on a search for the new Mraz, but was sidetracked by Jason’s two offerings… I bought “The Wreath” finally, after probably having heard every track over the last few months on Pandora. It is a solid album, I have to hand it to him. Sometimes I wonder if it’s weird that I buy his albums, but I mean… it would be weirder if I was snagging them illegally. Not too keen on that idea.
I hopped on the train back toward home, opting for the “C”, figuring I could walk home from Coolidge Corner. Little did I realize that a) the line was closed at St. Mary’s Street, and b) it was DOWNPOURING. Luckily, I had grabbed my umbrella after seeing the weather report in the morning, and still had it in my purse. A shuttle bus whisked me away to Coolidge Corner (and by “whisked” I mean “crawled”), and when I emerged, the rain had all but stopped, clouds giving way to hot sun again. I stopped at Panera for a latte and to put a dent in Freakonomics, and then trekked home.
After having an eventful afternoon, tonight was the first night I came back to the apartment and the feeling of “home” truly resonated within me. After changing into pajamas and resolving to clean the bathroom (oh boy), I situated myself at my desk, with “Becoming Jane” on my laptop, and beaded… it felt so nice to sit there, among my family photos I had finally set out, boxes all finally unpacked and away. This room is mine now.
I’m not sure if it was the solitary nature of my afternoon, or the way it began, in close company. I have recently been faced with all sorts of new emotions — joy from unexpected sources; heartache, often from the same places. Shawn advised me the other night while we were out that I should “live life” for a year before making any definite plans to settle down or see anyone seriously… I’m not sure if that’s the right approach for me. I spent so much of last year running around, thinking I was finding what I was looking for. None of it was fulfilling, really. Yes, I met a few very nice guys. I also, unfortunately, met a few not-so-nice ones. I suppose it comes with the territory. But just thinking of all of the growing and learning I did, the mistakes and great strides alike that I made… I’m not so sure I can fathom doing it all again, valuable as it was.
I definitely have things to think about… my heart, brain, and desires are oft unable to agree.
Make of that statement what you will, I suppose, but I can no sooner or more easily explain myself to anyone than I can to me. I’m still trying to work through it here. That’s one thing I’ve come to appreciate about the “real world” (as I’m told I belong to now): the answers are no longer as evident as they might have been. There is no “back of the textbook”. I might be wrong. But then again, I might be right…
